It's been a while, but I'm excited again

It's probably been more than six months since I've actively written anything. Possibly more. I'm not even sure I should bring up what I wrote for nanowrimo.

I have these ideas. They're in my head. And it's so frustrating sometimes when you don't have the energy or the time to get something down on paper, physical or virtual.

I started writing on 750words.com. really, I tried. But one day I'll write way more, and on other days, I'll have to skip. Maybe even a week at a time.

So I'm starting again. Please be patient with me.

Thanks!

Nanowrimo Time!

Hi everyone, it's November! You know what that means: nanowrimo! It's the thing that you've been waiting all year for. Or maybe not. As you know, I always have one or two ideas floating in my head, and it really sucks because I never have time to get it down on the screen. And as I found out for julnowrimo, it's really easy for something that I thought I had most of the stuff fleshed out to run out of steam. I believe that writing is one of those things that you get better at the more you do. People who write daily are naturally better at it. So I get frustrated sometimes when I just don't have time to write. But yes, enough procrastination. Time to write!

Probably not a good idea.

My friend showed me Demon's Souls!  I'm kinda hooked.  Not boding well for julnowrimo.  Probably a good thing my PS3 is disconnected :/

Running in place

So I've stated writing JulNoWriMo, half in earnest and half as preperation for NaNoWriMo.  And to be completely honest with you, I've never won either one, ever, and I've been trying since 2003.  I'm sure there'll be some readers who would be like, "well forget this idiot" and go read something more reasonable.

I don't mind.

For me, word count has never been the problem.  Plot has never been the problem.  There's always something to say, something for my characters to do, and reason to do it.  For me, the problem is a lot more personal.  

When I write, I feel like I'm getting something off my chest, which is a good feeling, but at the same time, i'm plagued by self-doubt.  Oh no, who's going to read this trash? What kind of filth is coming out of these hands?  This feeling gets worse even when I am just scrolling to the bottom of the document, my eyes picking up random words and phrases.  Who would write it this way? I'd berate myself, and nobody dead OR alive would be willing to do that to someone else.

These wrimos are more like a trial for myself, rather than a test for my creativity, a trial to see whether I can persevere and not give up hope when it is so easy to just give up and not write anymore.  

So I apologize in advance to all those who were waiting for my stories.  They're there, and some are even completed.  It's just in my head and not on the screen where you can see.